Diamond Paws

THINGS DOGS DON'T UNDERSTAND

1. IT'S NOT A LAUGH TO PRACTICE BARKING AT 3AM

2. IT'S WRONG TO BACK GRANDMA INTO A CORNER AND GUARD HER

3. HE SHOULDN'T JUMP ON YOUR BED WHEN HE'S SOPPING WET

4. THE COMMAND "SHUT THE BLOODLY F*** UP" MEANS JUST THAT

5. THAT CATS HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE IN THE LIVING ROOM

6. CRAPPING ON THE FLOOR IS NOT SOMETHING DESERVING OF A TREAT

7. BARKING AT GUESTS 10 MINUTES AFTER THEY ARRIVE IS STUPID

8. NO, WE SAID SIT

9. I KNOW IT'S A NICE LEG, BUT DON'T RIDE IT

10. GETTING UP DOES NOT MEAN WE ARE GOING FOR A WALK

11. JUST BECAUSE I'M EATING DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN

12. IF YOU LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE SOPPY EYES, I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE IN AND FEED YOU. NOT NOT NOT. OH, OK JUST THIS ONCE

13. NO, ITS MY FOOD....OH ALRIGHT THEN, JUST A SMALL PIECE

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